Farcical tale about a crew of British bomber pilots who have to bail out over Paris and encounter one hairy incident after another in their attempt to get to thr Free Zone.

"Tea for Two," a British bomber, is shot down over Nazi-occupied Paris. Before bailing out, its crew plans a reunion in the Parisian Turkish baths, where the identifying signal will be a whistled rendition of "Tea for Two." Squadron leader Reginald plunges into the seal pond of the zoo; Peter lands atop the scaffold of housepainter Augustin, splattering a Nazi below; and Alan parachutes to the roof of the Paris opera. To elude pursuing Nazis, Peter sequesters himself in the apartment of Ginette, a stranger with whom he feigns a marital dispute, while Alan represents himself as a harpist, the protege of harried Parisian conductor Stanislaus. Anticipating difficulties in attending the rendezvous, the English airmen persuade their French benefactors, Augustin and Stanislaus, to meet Reginald in the Turkish baths. There an escape to England is planned. Donning Nazi uniforms, Reginald and Augustin attend a celebration at the opera, where they discover Alan disguised as a buxom peasant girl. When the performance is interrupted by a bomb blast, Stanislaus, Augustin, Reginald, and Alan flee through the Paris sewers, with the lustful Germans, inflamed by the presumed peasant, in hot pursuit. They arrive at the train station, however, too late to accompany the departing Peter and Ginette. Aboard the train Peter is recognized as an Englishman and arrested, while Augustin and Stanislaus are captured by the border patrol. During the trio's interrogation they are rescued by Reginald and Alan, who arrive in Nazi headquarters encased in wine casks on a cart driven by Sister Marie-Odile. Having set the German wine cellar ablaze, the company departs in two gliders. Their escape is unwittingly abetted by a cross-eyed German, who shoots down the Nazi plane pursuing them.