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Dimwitted barber Willy Nilly confuses the instructions of his partner, Hercules Glub, and instead of finding a spot for their barbershop where they would have no competition, he locates the business on an Oklahoma Indian reservation, where they are guaranteed no customers. After shaving Luke the Hermit, the only local resident with facial hair, Willy and Hercules are whisked away by a group of oil-rich Adoop Indians, whose Oxford-educated chief offers them a million dollars to represent the tribe at the Geneva peace talks. If they succeed in promoting peace, the Chief tells them, they will receive another million dollars; if they fail, however, they will be killed. Forcefully persuaded, Willy and Hercules sail for Geneva with the Chief's secret papers. Also on board the steamship are Winklereid, an evil "conspirator," who plots with the equally evil Chow-Chow and the cellophane-wrapped, virgin-vamp Dolores, to steal the diplomats' money and the Chief's papers. While Dolores plies her vampish wares on Willy, Hercules gets drunk with Winklereid and the ship's tippling captain, who drunkenly steers the boat in endless circles. After a record-breaking eight-month voyage, Willy and Hercules arrive in Paris, where Hercules becomes the target of Fifi, another vamp. At last in Geneva, Hercules and Willy are spied upon by Winklereid and his cohorts, Schmerzenpuppen, Puppenschmerzen, Schmerzenschmerzen and Puppenpuppen. Protected by the omniscient Adoops, Willy and Hercules, who have prepared an impromptu peace treaty, survive the conspirators' assassination attempts and arrive safely at the conference. During their unique "harmony-among-nations" speech, Winklereid tosses a bomb into the room, which explodes and blackens the faces of all present. After the war-loving delegation sings a song of peace, Winklereid, determined to ensure a continuing market for his employer's explosive bullets, steals Willy's treaty and forges the names of the delegates on it. Willy and Hercules, believing that they have succeeded, return to America, only to discover that war has been declared and that they have been drafted.