• Jim Blandings  
  

  It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The minute you start they put you on the all-American sucker list. You start out to build a home and wind up in the poorhouse. And if it can happen to me, what about the guys who aren't making $15,000 a year? The ones who want a home of their own. It's a conspiracy, I tell you---against every boy and girl who were ever in love.

• Bill Cole  
  

  You've been taken to the cleaners, and you don't even know your pants are off.

• Gussie  
  

  If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham.

• Muriel Blandings  
  

  I refuse to endanger the lives of my children in a house with less than four bathrooms.

• Jim Blandings  
  

  For 1,300 dollars they can live in a house with three bathrooms and ROUGH IT.

• Joan  
  

  Oh look. Mother's diary. It's slightly torrid.

Contributions

• Holz (2007-12-19)

  Source: not available

  Muriel Blandings: "Each bedroom must have at least one bathroom."