A song-and-dance team have trouble adjusting to Army life.

At an Army training camp, Private First Class Alvin Korwin is put on K.P. duty due to incompetence. Even Korwin's former best friend and songwriting partner, Sergeant Victor Puccinelli, cannot stand to be around him. Puccinelli is miserable at the camp because he wants to fight the war at the front, not from behind a desk. When Millie, an addle-brained woman he has dated, tries to see him with important news, Puccinelli panics and leaves the office to avoid her. He is then ordered to the dispensary for a physical examination and learns that he is being discharged to fulfill his request to be a warrant officer. Puccinelli asks Captain Caldwell to add his name to the list of men being shipped out, but Caldwell refuses, stating that he will only ship out men who are not useful to him. Puccinelli convinces Caldwell to put Private Edwards' name on the list, which infuriates Edwards as Puccinelli is dating his girl friend Helen. Later, when Edwards finds a note from Millie for Puccinelli, saying there will be trouble if he does not meet her, Edwards conceives of a plan to cross his rival. Korwin, meanwhile, tries to persuade Puccinelli to record a song they have written, and Puccinelli agrees only after Korwin says he is doing it for his mother. When Puccinelli goes off duty and leaves behind the lyrics sheet, Korwin goes AWOL and hides in a USO truck headed off base. Korwin emerges from the truck dressed as a woman and enters a bar, where every man is repulsed by his hairy chest, except for his drunken sergeant, McVey, whom Korwin hates. Korwin manages to get the lyrics to Puccinelli without being seen by him and sneaks back to the base. Puccinelli, meanwhile, flirts with Helen by serenading her as he records the song in a booth. The next day, when Caldwell promises to ship Puccinelli overseas if he can name the man responsible for Millie's "trouble," Puccinelli decides to pin the blame on Korwin. Shortly afterward, the colonel demands that his panicked officers initiate their master training program. Edwards threatens to expose Puccinelli's involvement with Millie if he does not change his orders, and while they are arguing, Korwin accidentally causes the mess hall to explode. As a result, the colonel cancels Puccinelli's shipping orders, and orders Caldwell to identify all the South Pacific islands on a map. Caldwell's wife, who always knows his orders before he does, provides him with the answers, and the rest of the camp is put through extensive training. Later, Korwin lures Puccinelli into rehearsing their songs for a USO show, while Puccinelli tells Caldwell that Korwin is responsible for Millie. Korwin, who has repeatedly asked for a three-day pass to see his wife, is mystified by Caldwell's insistence that he "do the right thing," and when Caldwell learns that Korwin's child has already been born, he grants him an emergency furlough, then questions Millie on her swift recovery. Everything is cleared up when Korwin announces that he is married to someone else, and Millie reveals that she only wants to tell Puccinelli that she recently got married and will no longer date him. Caldwell demotes Puccinelli for negligence, and shortly after, the entire camp is shipped out and Korwin's leave is canceled. Korwin now outranks Puccinelli, but does not hold it over his friend.